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Attention expectant fathers: This section provides valuable information to help you while your partner is pregnant, during childbirth, postnatal care and in your everyday life.
Antenatal classes
Support
How you can support your pregnant wife?
There are many ways you can support your pregnant wife. Here are seven useful tips:
- Make sure the refrigerator is always well-stocked, because your wife will sometimes have a big appetite. Eating a healthy diet while your wife is pregnant will make it easier for her to do the same.
- Be proactive by taking care of the shopping, complete household chores, or cooking. There is a whole range of daily tasks you can take care of for your pregnant partner.
- Pamper your wife from time to time by massaging her belly or feet or prepare a relaxing bath for her.
- Learn everything you can about pregnancy and childbirth. We recommend accompanying your partner to doctor’s and midwife appointments, because this is where the planning for childbirth takes place. A woman will feel more at ease when the man shows an interest and is actively involved. We have put together a list of medical terms to help you make sure everything is clear.
- Even before the birth, start bonding with your baby by talking to them. This is because your unborn child can already hear voices from inside the womb and even come to identify them with time.
- Join your wife for an antenatal course for couples or surprise her by attending a course just for fathers. About the courses
- Even before the delivery, you should already start thinking about whether you want to be present during the birth and discuss your thoughts with your partner.
We recommend asking your partner where she needs support. Or offer her specific types of help. And don’t forget to encourage her during difficult phases, to give her a well-needed boost and remind her that you will always be by her side. Also be empathetic and show your partner that you appreciate her. Simply be there for her. She will thank you for it.
Sex during pregnancy
Sex during pregnancy – a medical perspective
If you are an expectant father and are unsure whether sex is okay during pregnancy, you can relax. From a medical point of view, it is fine as long as the woman feels at ease. Caution should, of course, be exercised if the woman experiences pain or any other discomfort. Also remember that pregnancy stimulates blood flow to the genital area, making it more sensitive, which is why many pregnant women actually have an increased desire for sex. Not having to worry about contraception is also likely to add an extra kick – for both parties. Add to this that a woman’s breasts increase in size as her belly grows, which many men find very attractive. This stretches the skin and can make it more sensitive, so men should be more careful with their touching.
If there is an increased risk of premature labour, the gynaecologist will unfortunately have to impose a “ban” on sex. This is because sperm have what is known as prostaglandins (PG), which can trigger premature contractions. Another reason why sex may need to be avoided during pregnancy is a prematurely dilated cervix or bleeding.
And no, the baby will not feel anything while you are having sex. They may be a bit more active afterwards, not because something has happened to them, but because the woman may be slightly out of breath and her heart rate has increased. This makes the baby active as well.
Insurance for your baby
What you can do before childbirth: take out an insurance policy for your baby
Parents normally have up to three months after the child is born to insure them. The insurance policy can be drawn up retroactively up to the date of birth. Supplementary insurance policies are different: they must already be taken out before the pregnancy, because they can take up to a year to go into effect, depending on the policy. Children can be included in the supplementary insurance coverage before they are born, without requiring a health exam, even if there are complications with the birth.
Childbirth and postnatal recovery period
Get ready! Your new baby is practically knocking at the door. Are you ready for this emotional, unforgettable experience? Find out what role you can play in the delivery room and what you will have to take care of during the postnatal recovery period, i.e. the first 6–8 weeks after your child is born.
Sometimes, time is of the essence...
After the onset of the first labour pains, it usually takes a bit of time before you and your partner need to set off for the hospital. Or it can happen very suddenly. Do you remember what you need to pack in your hospital bag in the span of just a few minutes?
What can you do in the delivery room?
Childbirth is an unforgettable experience for expectant parents. For many men, there is no question that they want to be present for the birth of their child. The role of expectant fathers during childbirth varies greatly, ranging from unobtrusive bystander to their partner's closest cheerleader. What do you need to keep in mind in the delivery room?
- Before you set off, pack something nutritious for yourself, because childbirth can be a very long, draining process for you as well. You do not know exactly what lies ahead of you.
- Leave the delivery room briefly from time to time to take a few deep breaths. This will allow you to recharge your batteries before the next round.
- Your partner will be in severe pain, so pull through and show her that you are there to help.
- Position yourself behind your partner while she is giving birth.
- Talk to her ahead of time about how you want to handle certain situations; for example, if your newborn requires medical care. Should you go along or stay by your partner's side?
Postnatal recovery period
The postnatal recovery period is a very exciting time for you and your partner. The main priority is getting to know your child. As your wife's hormones change, her emotions may be all over the place. She may cry sometimes. Be aware that these feelings are perfectly normal. During such moments, it is important that you are there for your wife. If you feel unsure, speak with the nursing staff. Try to schedule visits from family and friends so that they are not too overwhelming for you and your partner, and so the two of you also have the chance to enjoy some time together alone with your new baby.
The post-natal period is intensive: You get to know your child, you need to establish a feeding routine, and you have to ensure both the safety and care of your baby. It is important that you both use this time.
How can you support your partner during the postnatal recovery period?
- Spend plenty of time with your partner and child (check with the hospital in advance to see whether you can stay overnight).
- Your partner will be exhausted. Pamper her.
- Take any phone calls.
- Help her to care for your baby. During the first few days, you can take over the care of your baby, especially if your partner has had a caesarean.
- Ask the nursing staff in the ward or nursery to show you how to change a nappy and bathe your baby.
- Learn about the different ways to use a baby sling.
Download the practical packing list for the birth
When your baby comes home
Model father that you are, you surely remembered to bring a child seat when you picked up your wife and child from the hospital. Don’t forget to stock the refrigerator and pantry with plenty of food, so that you don’t have to make a big shopping run right after you arrive home. Your partner will also be appreciative if you get everything in order before arriving home. That way, you can start to fully enjoy the time together as a family right away.
Strengthening the bond with your child
- Bonding is key. Hold your baby as frequently and as close to your body as possible.
- Change the baby’s nappy, talk to and play with them, snuggle with them.
- Lie next to your baby while they are sleeping or should be sleeping. They will notice your presence then, too.
Why do babies cry?
Babies cry for many reasons. They might be hungry or thirsty, too hot or cold, bored, need their nappy changed or in pain. You will soon notice that your wife, who will often spend more time and is more familiar with the baby, can therefore recognise faster why the baby is crying than you can. So don’t let this get you down. Be patient and soon you, too, will be able to figure out more quickly why your baby is crying.
How to calm down your baby
- Take the baby in your arms.
- Rock the baby in your arms.
- Try calming your baby down by talking to them.
- Put them in the baby sling and take a short walk.
Babies like to put everything in their mouths. That means that in every room you need to look for objects that can cause children to choke. Not quite sure what’s safe? It’s quite simple: if it’s small enough to pass through the cardboard tube in a roll of toilet paper, then it’s small enough for your baby to choke on.
Doors
Hang a towel over the top edge of doors to keep them from closing on your baby’s little fingers.
Windows
Do not place any pieces of furniture in places where small children can climb up on them to the windows.
Garage door
Mount a sensor to your garage door that prevents the door from closing when there is something under it.
Stairs
Put a safety gate at the top and bottom of all staircases.
Plastic bags
Place plastic bags out of the reach of children, because they can suffocate in them.
Chairs and stools
Make sure not place these near the cooker in order to keep your little ones from climbing up on it.
Plants
Many household plants are poisonous, which is why they should be placed out of the reach of children. Place the plants on a sturdy stool, sideboard, or in a conservatory you can close off.
Curtain tiebacks and pullcords, cables
These are dangerous, because they can become wound around your child’s neck. Shorten the pullcords and use metal curtain tiebacks that are screwed to the wall. Make sure there are no electrical cords (TV, refrigerator, etc.) lying about.
Bathroom and toilet
The bathroom door should always be kept closed to prevent your child from falling into the toilet. Once again, keep toiletries and cleaning products out of reach. Reorganise your cabinets a bit: toilet paper can be placed on the bottom shelf; cleaning products can be placed a few shelves higher.
Handbags and briefcases
These contain all kinds of “weapons” and hazards: tweezers, perfume, pepper spray, aspirin or even flash drives. Keep your bags in a closed cabinet.
Fragile items and lamps
Whenever possible, keep these completely out of reach, because no matter whether they are elevated or free-standing, they can fall on your infant.
Pets
The food bowl, water bowl and litterbox are tempting toys. The only solution here is, once again: place them out of reach.
| APGAR | The APGAR test is used to assess how the newborn has responded to their new environment one, five and ten minutes after they are born. The test has five different criteria (skin colour, heart rate, reflexes, breathing and muscular tone) measured on a scale of 0-2 points. After the ten-minute APGAR test, most babies will reach the maximum score of 10 points. |
| Amniorrhexis | This term refers to the bursting of the amniotic sac, i.e. when a woman’s “water breaks”. The amniotic fluid may drip or rush out all at once. Amniorrhexis often occurs during the dilation stage (between start of labour to full dilation of the cervix) and the pushing stage (between complete dilation of the cervix and full birth). Some women already experience this before the onset of labour, however. This is referred to as premature amniorrhexis. If this happens, labour will be induced artificially after waiting a certain amount of time. If the amniotic sac has ruptured, pregnant women should immediately go to the hospital, because the risk of infection increases at this point. |
| Bonding | Bonding refers to the early stage during which the newborn forms a bond with mother and/or father. After the mother has given birth, the baby is placed directly on the mother’s bare skin, so that the baby can smell her scent, hear the familiar heartbeat and voices, and feel the warmth of her skin. Fathers can also be involved in the bonding stage by holding the newborn against their bare chest. |
| CTG/cardiotocography | A woman usually undergoes this examination toward the end of the pregnancy. The midwife will use an instrument to measure the heartbeat of the unborn child, the mother’s labour activity and the child’s response to it. The examination can determine whether the unborn child has an adequate oxygen supply. A CTG is completely painless and harmless both to the mother and the child. |
| Postnatal care for families | During the postnatal period for families, the brand-new father will come to the hospital to support the mother and stay with her and the newborn overnight (this is only possible in private rooms with a second bed, however). |
| Amniotic fluid | The amniotic sac is filled with amniotic fluid that completely envelops the embryo/foetus. The amniotic fluid is the ideal environment for the unborn child to move around in. The amniotic fluid also provides protection against external forces. |
| Amniotic puncture/amniocentesis | This is the term used to describe the testing of the amniotic fluid carried out between the 14th and 18th week of pregnancy to identify any chromosome abnormalities. It is particularly recommended for women whose unborn children are at a greater risk of having chromosomal defects (e.g. Down syndrome). This risk increases, for example, if there any abnormalities were found during the first trimester test, if the woman is over the age of 35 or if there is a hereditary disposition for a certain disease. |
| Caesarean section | This procedure involves giving the mother spinal anaesthesia and performing an incision in the abdomen and uterus to remove the child. A caesarean section is usually performed when a normal vaginal birth is impossible. |
| Vernix caseosa | The vernix caseosa is a sort of white “protective layer” covering the entire surface of the baby’s body during pregnancy. It protects the baby’s skin from drying out and contains antibacterial agents to protect against infections. At the end of the pregnancy, or shortly before childbirth, only some of it remains. |
| Meconium | This is a newborn’s first bowel movement, which occurs in the first 12-48 hours after it is born. Meconium is not an actual product of digestion, but consists of amniotic fluid, bile, skin cells, hair and other components. Meconium is blackish green and odourless. |
| Latent phase | This phase is also referred to as the first phase of childbirth. The contractions prepare the cervix for the dilation needed to give birth to the child. Contractions during the latent phase are rather brief, but they can be painful, without having much of an effect on the cervix. The latent phase can last many hours and be very tiring for the pregnant woman. |
| Lactogenesis | Lactogenesis refers to the phase after childbirth when the breasts begin to produce breast milk instead of colostrum. Lactogenesis starts around two to four days after giving birth. The woman might feel tenderness, sensitivity or pain in her breasts. Every woman experiences lactogenesis differently. |
| Cervix | During pregnancy, the opening of the cervix narrows, among other things, to prevent germs from penetrating the uterus. During labour, the cervix begins to dilate. For childbirth, the cervix must be dilated to ten centimetres. |
| Patient-controlled analgesia (PCA) | This is one of the latest pain relief methods available to women giving birth. During childbirth, the woman in labour can push a button to administer a painkiller (Remifentanil) intravenously through a programmed syringe pump. The drug takes effect and is metabolised very quickly in the body, so it is safe for both the mother and child. Not all hospitals offer this method yet, and it requires additional monitoring of the mother. |
| Epidural anaesthesia (PDA) | PDA involves the insertion of a very thin plastic tube between two vertebrae in the lower part of the spine near the spinal meninges. A local anaesthetic can then be administered via this tube. PDA is used when the mother experiences extreme pain during labour. PDA blocks the sensation of pain in the abdomen, legs, and feet. |
| Placenta | The placenta is affixed to the inner wall of the uterus and is connected by the umbilical cord to the newborn’s belly button. The placenta supplies the foetus with nutrients and oxygen. The placenta is also referred to as the afterbirth and is expelled shortly after the birth. |
| Rooming-in | Rooming-in gives the mother and her newborn child the chance to be together in the same room right after giving birth and during postnatal recovery. The mother usually takes care of the baby with the aid of the midwife or nurse. |
| Natural birth | A “natural” birth refers to a normal vaginal birth, without the use of a suction cup, forceps or caesarean section. |
| Trimesters | The pregnancy is divided into three periods, each of which is referred to as a trimester. |
| Colostrum | Colostrum is the first substance produced by the female mammary glands after a pregnancy and is excreted through the nipples. It is a yellowish fluid that is thicker than actual breast milk. It is important that the baby ingests this colostrum after the birth. Colostrum is rich in protein, vitamins and antibodies that strengthen the baby’s immune defences. It also helps to get the baby’s digestion working by helping along the excretion of the meconium. |
| Pre-labour contractions | These occur a few days or weeks before giving birth. Pre-labour contractions are uterine contractions that are a sort of “training” for the upcoming birth. Pre-labour contractions are sometimes confused with dilation pains. In contrast to these, the cervix does not yet dilate with pre-labour contractions. As childbirth nears, the pre-labour contractions become more painful. |
| Postnatal care | This is the period 6-8 weeks after childbirth. The mother and newborn recover from the birth during this period. During this initial phase, the bodily changes occurring during pregnancy and birth return to the non-pregnant state. |